For a Uni animation concept that fell through.
‘Automaton Calder’ doodle in pencil.
A sketch of Calder, concerned.
It’s also, strangely, perhaps a reflection of certain creative frustrations I’m experiencing at the moment.
I have to stop being afraid to lift up my pen and write words down, stop being afraid of writing or creating ‘something not good enough’ on the first try, because these are the very thoughts that are holding me back creatively. Lately, although I have all sorts of stories and characters swimming around my headspace, I haven’t written a thing because I’m being too precious with my ideas (“This won’t do! This first sentence isn’t good enough, urgh! Today isn’t my day, I might feel like writing it tomorrow, etc”).
There’s no ghoul standing behind me, judging the quality of the words of my first draft as I write them down. If anyone, that ghoul is me, agonising over every word to the point that any passion for the story disappears and writing becomes less an expression of the self, and more a kind of pained ‘scientific process’ that leaves me obsessing, ‘is this the right word to put in this part of the sentence?’, or ‘is the wording pretty enough’?
It’s important, yeah, but not to the point where I found myself crippled and unable to write anything at all, out of fear. It’s killing me, because I really want to write this tale and nothing - NOTHING - is holding me (and the story itself!) back except for my own attitude.
Alright, that’s it. I’ve had it.
Doubts, AWAY with you! I’ve got a story to write!
*fistshakes at Tumblr’s automatic resize feature*
Fullbody design concepts for Clockwork Calder! Hooray!
This mindfellow is just NOT leaving me alone lately; I compulsively sketch Calder (human and clockwork version) everywhere, haha! Weird how some stories in your head just kind of grip you for a while and won’t let you think about much else, so you’re compelled to spill them out from your mindspace as a kind of weird detoxification mechanism (or… is that just me, hahaha). In any case… get outta’ my heeeaaad!
‘The Violinist’ - the object of Calder’s unrequited affections - drawing from my Flash Catalyst media piece from this semester, based on my Calder script story from earlier in the year - more on that tomorrow. :)
Sketched on the back of a Uni worksheet during tutorial, haha. Inking done at home to Triple J and Caravan Palace - Star Scat on endless repeat. :D The hands, violin, violin bow not terribly well done, but it being a drawing that came spontaneously and easily, it was a lot of fun! >:D
It’s half a Calder!
I’ve been thinking about a story I’d like to write.
It’s the tale of this fellow, an automata clockwork boy – Mr Thomas Calder, recently ‘converted’ clockwork fellow set in that all too familiar “ye olde Victorianesque world” of twisted toymakers, dark cobblestone streets and other such fun genre-clichés. It may not be the most original territory, but I’m still going to run with it!
Calder’s a result of a screenplay project I had to do for my Media Arts class (in which I tried to write something vaguely normal, then gave up and went all out crazy fantasy, just because). I’ve been drawing him, trying to get his look together. I compulsively scribble this guy every second moment. It’s great! For me, pouring characters/stories/images out of the mind onto the paper must be one of life’s most satisfying things.
